that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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