My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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