I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Holy sore nipples Batman
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
