he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
