all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
