Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
it was like eating out sand paper
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize