Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize