I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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