Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
