Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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