Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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