i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
