i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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