That's intense
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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