u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
