My nipple is on Facebook.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
