final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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