we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I can't turn off my feet"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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