I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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