She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
