we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
