Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
