saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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