i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
