i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
