Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
