it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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