Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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