I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
