i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
