Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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