I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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