I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Vodka?
Forever.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
