I never want to see another naked old woman again.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I want to be your penis for a week.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
