My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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