please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
