dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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