she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
