i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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