Already got asked if we're dating
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
