fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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