I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
