Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
