You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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