you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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