Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
