NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
