Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
