Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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