and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize