He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
