I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
