WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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