When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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