We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
