Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
