i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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