Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
