he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
