So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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