I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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